Points to Ponder

[Rono]

COWS
Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that the US government
can track a cow born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall
where she sleeps in the state of Washington and they tracked her calves o their stalls. But they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens
wandering around the country. Maybe we should give them all a cow.

CONSTITUTION
They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq. Why don't we just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys, it's worked for over 200 years and we're not using it anymore.

TEN COMMANDMENTS
The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments in a Courthouse! You cannot post "Thou Shalt Not Steal," "Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery" and "Thou Shall Not Lie" in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment!

And Last but not least.....
George Carlin said it best about Martha Stewart .. "Boy, I feel a lot safer
now that she ended up behind bars. O.J. Simpson and Kobe Bryant are still walking around; Osama Bin Laden too, but they take the one woman in America willing to cook, clean, and work in the yard, and haul her *** off to jail."

[Wuptdo]

My Dad sent this to me:

TWO TOUGH QUESTIONS

Question 1:

If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8 kids already, three who
were deaf, two who were blind, one mentally retarded, and she had syphilis,
would you recommend that she have an abortion?

Read the next question before looking at the response for this one.


Question 2:

It is time to elect a new world leader, and only your vote counts. Here are the facts about the three candidates.

Candidate A -- Associates with crooked politicians, and consults with astrologists. He's had two mistresses. He also chain smokes and drinks 8 to 10 martinis a day.

Candidate B -- He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps until noon, used opium in college, and drinks a quart of whiskey every evening.

Candidate C -- He is a decorated war hero. He's a vegetarian, doesn't smoke, drinks an occasional beer and never cheated on his wife.


Which of these candidates would be your choice?


Decide first ... no peeking, then scroll down for the response.









Candidate A is Franklin D. Roosevelt.

Candidate B is Winston Churchill.

Candidate C is Adolph Hitler

And, by the way, on your answer to the abortion question:

If you said, "YES!" ...

you just killed Beethoven.

Pretty interesting isn't it? Makes a person think before judging someone. Wait till you see the end of this note! Keep reading ...

Never be afraid to try something new ...

Remember ... Amateurs built the ark ... Professionals...built the Titanic!

And Finally ... can you imagine working for a company that has a little more than 500 employees and has the following statistics:

29 have been accused of spousal abuse
7 have been arrested for fraud
19 have been accused of writing bad checks
117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses
3 have done time for assault
71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit
14 have been arrested on drug-related charges
8 have been arrested for shoplifting
21 are currently defendants in lawsuits
84 have been arrested for drunk driving in the last year...


Can you guess which organization this is?


Give up yet?





It's the 535 members of the United States Congress.

The same group of idiots that crank out hundreds of new laws each year designed to keep the rest of us in line.



Wuptdo 8O

[Wuptdo]

Someone e-mailed this to me:
The next time globalization comes up at work - here is your response...

INTERNATIONAL THINKING

AT ITS BEST !

Question: What is the truest definition of Globalization?

Answer: Princess Diana's death.

Question: How come?

Answer: An English princess

with an Egyptian boyfriend

crashes in a French tunnel,

driving a German car

with a Dutch engine,

driven by a Belgian who was drunk

on Scottish whisky, (check the bottle before you change the spelling)

followed closely by Italian Paparazzi,

on Japanese motorcycles;

treated by an American doctor,

using Brazilian medicines.

This is sent to you by an American,

using Bill Gates's technology,

and you're probably reading this on your computer,

that use Taiwanese chips,

and a Korean monitor,

assembled by Bangladeshi workers

in a Singapore plant,

transported by Indian lorry-drivers,

hijacked by Indonesians,

unloaded by Sicilian longshoremen,

and trucked to you by Mexican illegals.....

That, my friends, is Globalization

Wuptdo :wink: