dhyatt
11-18-2005, 10:43 AM
This came my way via one of my favorite local officials...
<hr>
GOVERNMENTIUM
A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the
heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been named
"Governmentium." Governmentium has 1 neutron, 12 deputy neutrons, 75
assistant neutrons, and 224 deputy assistant neutrons, giving it an
atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are
surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.
Since Governmentium has no protons or electrons, it is inert. However,
it can be detected, because it impedes every action with which it comes
into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium causes a reaction to take 4 days to complete, when it would normally take less than a second.
Governmentium has a normal half-life of 4 years. It does not decay, but
instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant
neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, governmentium's
mass will actually increase over time since each reorganization will
cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This
characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that
Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in
concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical
Morass."
When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an
element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has
half as many peons but twice as many morons.
<hr>
GOVERNMENTIUM
A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the
heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been named
"Governmentium." Governmentium has 1 neutron, 12 deputy neutrons, 75
assistant neutrons, and 224 deputy assistant neutrons, giving it an
atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are
surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.
Since Governmentium has no protons or electrons, it is inert. However,
it can be detected, because it impedes every action with which it comes
into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium causes a reaction to take 4 days to complete, when it would normally take less than a second.
Governmentium has a normal half-life of 4 years. It does not decay, but
instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant
neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, governmentium's
mass will actually increase over time since each reorganization will
cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This
characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that
Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in
concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical
Morass."
When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an
element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has
half as many peons but twice as many morons.