hollyL
08-13-2004, 06:10 PM
How to solve all of American problems (well at least 90% of them)
Voter reform.
You have to take the test to vote – 75% accuracy required. A lottery of the fails determines who the vice president will be – he’s usually stupid anyway and we can’t let the smarties just completely rule the dummies!
\Test Questions:
What is your name? (-2 if you miss this one)
Who is currently the president of the United States?
Point to your state on the map of the United States. (extra point if the map doesn't’ have the state names on them)
When was the War of 1812?
How many members are there in the US Senate? (50 or 100 accepted)
On what continent is Iraq located?
What day is it (month/day/year please)?
Name one of the amendments to the Constitution. (1/2 answers like "the freedom of religion thing" or "you can have a gun" accepted)
Wal-Mart time.
Every candidate running for federal office must work at Wal-Mart and live in a trailer (furnished with reasonable accommodations: furniture; flatware, plates, cups etc.; TV with basic cable – Fox for the Republicans; and a beat up Ford with one flat tire) for a minimum of 3 months. Beginning only with $1,000.00, 7 shirts; 7 pair of pants, shoes, underwear; and personal hygiene products. Healthcare not included. Wanna represent the people – act like 'em.
Campaign finance reform.
Finance all campaigns through public funding (easy through the revenue of the brilliant flat tax – see below). Eliminate any funding from the public or corporations – no more PACS and no more $25k dinners. Give each candidate x dollars for the campaign and x hours of television time on each major network. Now there’s no more money so only power corrupts.
Mandatory conscription.
Every American (man and woman) must serve in the armed forces for a minimum of 1 year. Exceptions for no one...everyone call help.
Legalize drugs.
Treat crack, heroine and other "hard drugs" as medical problems. If you are doing those drugs in the first place clearly something is really wrong with you. Marijuana – Alcohol and tobacco are far more addictive and harmful than marijuana. People don’t beat their wives with Whisky bottles after smoking it (too busy eating chips). I’ve never heard of a pot head holding up a convenience store or mowing down a family of 5 in a minivan, heck their too lazy to leave the house! Sell it at the ABC store and tax it A LOT. Take all the money from the taxes collected and use it for hard drug rehab. Use all the DEA and other law enforcement officers currently losing the war on drugs and put them on the border to keep out the terrorist and people illegally crossing the border.
Flat tax.
Everybody (individuals, businesses, corporations) pay the same percent on income – no exceptions. Everything you buy has x percent sales tax. [My income] x [x%] = check to the IRS. That’s it. F the IRS.
Universal Healthcare. Self explanatory I hope.
Leave California alone.
Let California make whatever laws they want. They can be kind of like Puerto Rico but still a state. Gay marriage, civil rights for transsexuals, people don’t have to wear clothes, whatever they want!
Alternative fuel.
Antibiotics, mapping the entire humane genome, the cotton gin, the telephone, the WWW, the atomic bomb, come on can’t we come up with something to fuel cars instead of oil? Eliminates the environmental issues and the whole war for oil thing.
The 10 commandments and Hustler.
Let anybody display either anywhere they want as long as they are together. Hang them so youngsters can’t see them of course. Religion can be a very dangerous to young eyes.
6 weeks of mandatory vacation every year.
Vacations are good.
Voter reform.
You have to take the test to vote – 75% accuracy required. A lottery of the fails determines who the vice president will be – he’s usually stupid anyway and we can’t let the smarties just completely rule the dummies!
\Test Questions:
What is your name? (-2 if you miss this one)
Who is currently the president of the United States?
Point to your state on the map of the United States. (extra point if the map doesn't’ have the state names on them)
When was the War of 1812?
How many members are there in the US Senate? (50 or 100 accepted)
On what continent is Iraq located?
What day is it (month/day/year please)?
Name one of the amendments to the Constitution. (1/2 answers like "the freedom of religion thing" or "you can have a gun" accepted)
Wal-Mart time.
Every candidate running for federal office must work at Wal-Mart and live in a trailer (furnished with reasonable accommodations: furniture; flatware, plates, cups etc.; TV with basic cable – Fox for the Republicans; and a beat up Ford with one flat tire) for a minimum of 3 months. Beginning only with $1,000.00, 7 shirts; 7 pair of pants, shoes, underwear; and personal hygiene products. Healthcare not included. Wanna represent the people – act like 'em.
Campaign finance reform.
Finance all campaigns through public funding (easy through the revenue of the brilliant flat tax – see below). Eliminate any funding from the public or corporations – no more PACS and no more $25k dinners. Give each candidate x dollars for the campaign and x hours of television time on each major network. Now there’s no more money so only power corrupts.
Mandatory conscription.
Every American (man and woman) must serve in the armed forces for a minimum of 1 year. Exceptions for no one...everyone call help.
Legalize drugs.
Treat crack, heroine and other "hard drugs" as medical problems. If you are doing those drugs in the first place clearly something is really wrong with you. Marijuana – Alcohol and tobacco are far more addictive and harmful than marijuana. People don’t beat their wives with Whisky bottles after smoking it (too busy eating chips). I’ve never heard of a pot head holding up a convenience store or mowing down a family of 5 in a minivan, heck their too lazy to leave the house! Sell it at the ABC store and tax it A LOT. Take all the money from the taxes collected and use it for hard drug rehab. Use all the DEA and other law enforcement officers currently losing the war on drugs and put them on the border to keep out the terrorist and people illegally crossing the border.
Flat tax.
Everybody (individuals, businesses, corporations) pay the same percent on income – no exceptions. Everything you buy has x percent sales tax. [My income] x [x%] = check to the IRS. That’s it. F the IRS.
Universal Healthcare. Self explanatory I hope.
Leave California alone.
Let California make whatever laws they want. They can be kind of like Puerto Rico but still a state. Gay marriage, civil rights for transsexuals, people don’t have to wear clothes, whatever they want!
Alternative fuel.
Antibiotics, mapping the entire humane genome, the cotton gin, the telephone, the WWW, the atomic bomb, come on can’t we come up with something to fuel cars instead of oil? Eliminates the environmental issues and the whole war for oil thing.
The 10 commandments and Hustler.
Let anybody display either anywhere they want as long as they are together. Hang them so youngsters can’t see them of course. Religion can be a very dangerous to young eyes.
6 weeks of mandatory vacation every year.
Vacations are good.