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StanN
02-16-2005, 11:30 AM
From this weeks Time magazines cover story:

Ask teachers about the best part of their job, and most will say how much they love working with kids. Ask them about the most demanding part, and they will say dealing with parents. In fact, a new study finds that of all the challenges they face, new teachers rank handling parents at the top. According to preliminary results from the MetLife Survey of the American Teacher, made available exclusively to TIME, parent management was a bigger struggle than finding enough funding or maintaining discipline or enduring the toils of testing. It's one reason, say the Consortium for Policy Research in Education and the Center for the Study of Teaching and Policy, that 40% to 50% of new teachers leave the profession within five years. Even master teachers who love their work, says Harvard education professor Sara Lawrence-Lightfoot, call this "the most treacherous part of their jobs." .....

Parents are passionate, protective creatures when it comes to their children, as nature designed them to be. Teachers strive to be dispassionate, objective professionals, as their training requires them to be. Throw in all the suspicions born of class and race and personal experience, a culture that praises teachers freely but pays them poorly, a generation taught to question authority and a political climate that argues for holding schools ever more accountable for how kids perform, and it is a miracle that parents and teachers get along as well as they do. "There's more parent involvement that's good—and bad," notes Kirk Daddow, a 38-year veteran who teaches Advanced Placement history in Ames, Iowa. "The good kind is the 'Make yourself known to the teacher; ask what you could do.' The bad kind is the 'Wait until something happens, then complain about it and try to get a grade changed.'" Overall, he figures, "we're seeing more of the bad." ...

At the deepest level, teachers fear that all this parental anxiety is not always aimed at the stuff that matters. Parents who instantly call about a grade or score seldom ask about what is being taught or how. When a teacher has spent the whole summer brightening and deepening the history curriculum for her ninth-graders, finding new ways to surprise and engage them, it is frustrating to encounter parents whose only focus is on test scores. "If these parents were pushing for richer, more meaningful instruction, you could almost forgive them their obnoxiousness and inattention to the interests of all the other children," says Alfie Kohn, a Boston-based education commentator and author of Unconditional Parenting. But "we have pushy parents pushing for the wrong thing." He argues that test scores often measure what matters least—and that even high test scores should invite parents to wonder what was cut from the curriculum to make room for more test prep. ....

Research shows that though students benefit modestly from having parents involved at school, what happens at home matters much more. According to research based on the National Education Longitudinal Study, a sample of nearly 25,000 eighth-graders, among four main areas of parental involvement (home discussion, home supervision, school communication and school participation), home discussion was the most strongly related to academic achievement. .....

Any partnership requires that both sides do their part. Teachers say that here again, parents can have double standards: Push hard, but not too hard; maintain discipline, but don't punish my child. When teachers tell a parent that a child needs to be reprimanded at home, teachers say they often get the response, "I don't reprimand, and don't tell me how to raise my child." Older teachers say they are seeing in children as young as 6 and 7 a level of disdain for adults that was once the reserve of adolescents. Some talk about the "dry-cleaner parents" who drop their rambunctious kids off in the morning and expect them to be returned at the end of the day all clean and proper and practically sealed in plastic.

washere
02-16-2005, 12:17 PM
When teachers tell a parent that a child needs to be reprimanded at home, teachers say they often get the response, "I don't reprimand, and don't tell me how to raise my child."

Well good grief, what the Hell do they expect?!?!??! You question my parenting style and ability to raise my children, and you darn well better be ready for a fight.

This was a great article though. I think it's particularly unfortunate that many parents will only get involved to complain about grades. I remember several times in middle and high school that I knew I had turned in an assignment that a teacher didn't give me credit for, or that a grade on my report card was miscalculated. I remember a few other instances where I studied really hard for a test, or worked really hard on a project, and my grade quite simply didn't reflect the effort I had put towards the assignment. My mother told me that it was my responsibility to fix the problem with the teacher, and that if it wasn't fixed *then* she would get involved. And yes, I watched as my mother gave my 4th grade teacher an earful for giving me a crummy grade on a project that I had worked really hard on (and did everything required by the assignment) and deserved some kind of recognition for that. The difference between my project and my classmates': I had done mine myself. The parents of my classmates did their projects. :roll:

Parents constantly interceding on behalf of their children teaches an important lesson about personal responsibility. Unfortunately, this sort of behavior on the part of parents is teaching the wrong lesson, and only reinforces the common attitude in children today that it's never 'their fault' :roll: .

Discipline in the schools is a very difficult problem with no easy answers. In high school I worked at a daycare center at our church. At the open house orientation at the beginning of the school year, we always handled the problem. We simply told the parents that we wouldn't believe half the things their children told us about them if they agreed not to believe half the things their children told them about us. :lol: