Sam's Club!

[Wuptdo]

A quick lunch, or a great place to take a bunch of hungry scouts after a hike at (brain fa*t - at the end of Harrison Avenue) Park.

At the Sam's Club on Harrison Avenue, you can get a .25 lb hot dog or Polish dog plus a 24 oz. drink for only a $1.58 each. (Free refills)!

Wuptdo B-)

[Brent]

Wup, it's Umstead Park. Taking some Scouts there on a 10-mile hike this weekend, in fact.

[Oliver]

Mr. tdo,

Do you know if tax & tip are included in the $1.58?

Thank you kindly.

[Wuptdo]

Mr. Oliver,

The $1.58 does include the governors cut (i.e., tax); however, I may be off a cent or two. Tipping is optional, but I have never seen a cup marked "tips."

I do have a question for you Mr. Oliver on the art of tipping. Every now and then I enjoy a fine cup of coffee in one of many of Cary's coffee houses. However, I almost always order a "plain or regular" cup of coffee. For the most part, I will leave the change as a tip, but get a "face" from the friendly clerk. I could see tipping for those fancy coffee's the rich folk like, but for a regular cup of joe? What do you do?

Wuptdo B-)

[johnb]

Give them a hot tip....keep working....

[Oliver]

Mr. Tdo,

I don't have much use for those fancy-pants coffee places. I am completely satisfied with my Nescafe instant (on the weekends, Folger's Crystals!).

However, if it is not a sit-down, full-service restaurant, I normally do not leave my generous seven and seven-eighths per cent tip. The way I figure it, those snotty acne-faced brats should be happy with your dropping the change into their "tips" cup. I say, if they make a face at you, make a face back and take the money right back out of the cup. If it's a particularly nasty face, take out more than you put in!

[Oliver]

Restaurant Review

Special Food At Everyday Prices
By Oliver “Omnivore” Lard-Gourmand, Cary Politics Food Critic

For my latest restaurant visit, I continue my review of upscale establishments. This time I shall impart the low-down on a place called, simply, Sam’s.

Based on advice from a Mr. Wuptdo, who seems to have a relatively good track record in spite of the most unfortunate tax & tip misunderstanding at Bistro in the Hotel, I decided to visit Sam’s. Upon arriving, I was pleased to see that the parking spaces were of adequate size for my ’87 Skylark. Things were looking good. I had not previously visited this restaurant, whose full name is “Sam’s Club”. Although I am not generally into the “club scene”, faithful readers will know that I will try most anything once. I was expecting a live band and hoping that there was no cover charge.

Upon entering the restaurant, I was asked for my membership card. With a smooth and graceful gesture reminiscent of James Bond, I proudly displayed my Rotary Club card. The sweet old lady at the door (“Gertrude”, according to her nametag) questioned the authenticity of the card and asked for a closer look. She stated that “this is different from any of the other membership cards I’ve seen, I’ll have to check with the supervisor.” I assured her that I was a bona fide member of the Rotary Club, the only organization to which I currently belong. By this time, a line of people had formed behind me trying to get into the restaurant, and some of these people were becoming restless (one gentleman muttered rather loudly, “C’mon, you old bag, just let us in. Those free samples don’t last forever, you know!”). I don’t generally like to be a name-dropper, but in the interest of everyone’s convenience, I informed Mrs. Gertrude that Mr. Wuptdo himself had sent me and that I was “on the clock” in the employ of none less than Mr. Admin Hyatt. Mrs. Gertrude then softened a bit, noting that she “had stayed in a Hyatt Hotel many years ago, and it was awful nice” and told me it would be okay for me to go ahead and enter. She even gave me a wink and a smile and said “Whoop-dee-doo to you, too!” In spite of this small delay, things were looking up.

Sam’s has an interesting décor. It is one of those restaurants that is made up to look like a great big warehouse. I found this interesting and rather pleasant. I made my way to a table (round) and took a seat. Faithful readers will know what happened next – I checked my pocket watch to begin timing how long it would take to be served.

After three minutes and fifteen seconds, I made a loud “Harrumph!” noise, which got the attention of several people, but not, unfortunately, my waiter. After three minutes and forty-five seconds, I politely shouted “Service, please!” It was at this point that one of the patrons informed me that I needed to visit the counter to obtain my food, and by the way, could he borrow the unused chair at my table for his “old lady”? I could not help but chuckle, first because, having visited both McDonald’s Irish Pub and KFC Southern Cookin’, I have become familiar with the “food counter” mode of service and had failed to recognize its use at Sam’s (I guess the joke was on me!); and second, because the woman that my newfound friend referred to as his “old lady” could not have been more than 19 years old (indeed, she was visibly pregnant, and frankly, the dress she had chosen did not do a thing for her and it wouldn’t have hurt her to run a comb through her hair, but that’s another column).

Back to the food, though: the menu is quite eclectic, with an international flair, including pizza, popcorn and hot dogs, among others. I had heard all about the 25-pound hot dogs, though, on Cary Politics, complete with choice of beverage for only $1.58, so of course, this is what I ordered. To be sure, I did not actually expect a 25-pound hot dog; a 5-star food critic such as myself is well aware of exaggerated advertising hype, but I did expect something on the order of at least a pound, but the hot dog I was given couldn’t have been much more than a quarter of a pound. That must be how they keep their prices so low. It did include a nice, soft bun (unlike Bistro In the Hotel, which charges much more for its so-called “filet mignon” hamburgers, bun not included) AND there is NO ADDITIONAL CHARGE for ketchup, mustard or relish. I should note at this point that the “polish dog” also had been recommended. However, although I am a cat person myself (several of you have met my beloved Muffkins), I have, some years ago, washed a dog and I know what a messy endeavor that can be. I cannot imagine how unpleasant an undertaking it would be to go about polishing a dog (perhaps Mr. or Ms. kcommiskey would know?), so I just skipped the “polish dog” option. The beverage selection was quite adequate. I chose the house beverage (“Sam’s Cola”), which was on tap and had good color and carbonation.

The hot dog was quite tasty. My only complaint was that the relish appeared to be domestic, and a rather cheap brand at that. Still, this was a most enjoyable main course, and, 25 pounds or not, it was rather filling – I had to pass on dessert, although the “Icee” looked very tempting. Besides, a lot of these places lure you in with their $1.58 special and then gouge you on dessert, and this 5-star critic is a smart consumer. Although it was an open bar with free refills, I had to decline another “Sam’s Cola” (after more than one, I get a little loopy, and I had to drive home).

So far, so good for Sam’s. All that was left was to check out the washroom. It was rather difficult to find (I had to ask two different people for directions). The washroom was rather nondescript and the door squeaked, plus I discovered more of the vulgar style of graffiti that I first encountered at McDonald’s Irish Pub, so I did have to deduct some fractions of stars at this point. However, I was pleased to see that they provided towels (paper, not linen), rather than the cursed hand-drying machine whose instructions always seem to be altered to the point that they are nonsensical.

So, to “Sam’s”, I give FOUR AND SEVENTEEN-THIRTY-SECONDS STARS. Now that Gertrude is my friend, I may just have to “go clubbing” more frequently! Confidential to Admin Hyatt: Tipping is not required at Sam’s, so I still have the 42 cents left over from the two bucks you provided for the meal. Do you want this back? If not, do I have to claim it as income on my taxes?

The ratings explained:

FIVE STARS: The best, salads have olives WITH PIMENTOS
FOUR STARS: Very good, choice of sugar OR Equal OR Sweet & Low
THREE STARS: Pretty good, there’s a guy on duty to sweep up during business hours
TWO STARS: Sort of good, but they don’t allow cats
ONE STAR: Not too good, grease soaks through the paper sandwich wrappers
NO STARS: Your shots better be up-to-date

Cary Politics food critic Oliver “Omnivore” Lard-Gourmand buys pickle relish by the gallon for use not only on hot dogs, but also as a garnish (“presentation is everything!”) and as an ice cream topping (write for recipe). He is saving up to buy one of those toaster-like thingies that cooks two hot dogs and toasts the buns all at the same time.

[Wuptdo]

Please read the above post for a "blast from the past" from Mr. Oliver.

Back on the "discount table" at the local Sam's Club (in back, on the left in the club), they had four 30 cup "fancy" coffee maker/urns for only $50. I think they were like $68 before. Anyway, for your office or if you have lots of guest, this is a good bargin. Enjoy!

Wuptdo B-)

[Wuptdo]

Two items of possible interest:

1) Crossman 953 BB gun for only $55.91 (Was $77.91) (sports section)

2) Digital Air Tire guage with container for only $4.91 (was $11.95) (tire area)

Saw these today at about 2:30 pm.

Wuptdo B-)