Brent
05-20-2005, 12:01 PM
RESOLVED: No one may do, say, write, draw, or think, nor incite others through word, deed, psychic connections or by any other plausible or implausible means, to do, say, write, draw, or think anything, in public or in private, at any time, under any lunar, political, geometric, chemically altered, or sober state which would, could, may or may not ever anger, irritate, or otherwise draw an adverse reaction, opinion, comment, or attitude from a Cary city elected official, city staff member, contractor, vendor, or family member of the same within or without the borders of the city of Cary without prior written and notarized permission from each of the following: City Manager, Chief of Police, Mayor, President of the Chamber of Commerce, on duty manager at Ashworth's Drug Store, the City Manager's mother, City Attorney, and God.
Enforcement: Those found in violation of this ordinance shall be branded "mean", "divisive", and condemned as someone not trying to "move the community forward". The offending hater shall be brought before the city council in order to apologize profusely. Whether an apology is tendered, or not, groveling is to be required. The offender shall not be allowed to further profane the Halls of City Government by attempting to defend him/herself nor by claiming some mythical Freedom of Speech right. The Chief of Police shall, upon notification of the aforementioned branding shall produce a letter ordering the deportation of the miscreant outside of the city limits and ETJ within 30 days.
Appeals: There are none.
Publication: The Cary News shall be compelled to write Hosannah's to the aforementioned local officials and their heroic stance against "hate" and "divisiveness" within and without the city limits and ETJ of Cary.
Applicability: Those residing outside the city limits of Cary are subject to this ordinance if they reside within the ETJ. Those residing outside the city limits and not within the ETJ are still subject to this ordinance. Those who reside outside the city limits and outside the ETJ shall have warrants sworn out for their arrest and the appropriate actions taken to extradite the offender to the city of Cary.
From the "Future Cary ordinance?" topic of the Local issues forum http://carypolitics.org/modules.php?name=Forums&file=viewtopic&t=1365
Enforcement: Those found in violation of this ordinance shall be branded "mean", "divisive", and condemned as someone not trying to "move the community forward". The offending hater shall be brought before the city council in order to apologize profusely. Whether an apology is tendered, or not, groveling is to be required. The offender shall not be allowed to further profane the Halls of City Government by attempting to defend him/herself nor by claiming some mythical Freedom of Speech right. The Chief of Police shall, upon notification of the aforementioned branding shall produce a letter ordering the deportation of the miscreant outside of the city limits and ETJ within 30 days.
Appeals: There are none.
Publication: The Cary News shall be compelled to write Hosannah's to the aforementioned local officials and their heroic stance against "hate" and "divisiveness" within and without the city limits and ETJ of Cary.
Applicability: Those residing outside the city limits of Cary are subject to this ordinance if they reside within the ETJ. Those residing outside the city limits and not within the ETJ are still subject to this ordinance. Those who reside outside the city limits and outside the ETJ shall have warrants sworn out for their arrest and the appropriate actions taken to extradite the offender to the city of Cary.
From the "Future Cary ordinance?" topic of the Local issues forum http://carypolitics.org/modules.php?name=Forums&file=viewtopic&t=1365